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BLARGH: May 2010

Monday, May 3, 2010


Does that dude deserve your rapt attention and emotional investment? To celebrate the paperback release of SWOON, the novel’s star-cursed lovers Sin and Dice are here to help you ID if he’s a bestie-to-be, a red-hot fling or the real thing.

1. Recently, you felt compelled to tell this guy…
A) What you had for breakfast.
B) That it’s impolite to stare.
C) Absolutely everything you’ve ever thought, felt, dreamed of and believed in.

2. Your beach day gets rained out so…
A) He suggests you go bowling instead.
B) He suggests you hang out in his room instead.
C) Oh…it’s raining? You two hadn’t noticed…

3. You could fall into itty-bitty pieces every time he…
A) Makes a joke or does an imitation—the boy cracks you up!
B) Looks your way for more than three seconds.
C) Asks you a question—even if it’s “How are the tacos?”

4. Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18, aka “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day,” reminds you that he’s…
A) As cool and sweet as a Slushee.
B) Hot. So hot. So very, very hot.
C) Warm, bright, wonderful—you wish he would go on forever!

5. The boy is your go-to for advice on…
A) What tunes to download and movies to see.
B) Which heels make your legs look sexiest in this skirt.
C) Whether to follow your creative, academic or entrepreneurial muse.

6. He said he’d call. And he did…
A) About five minutes ago just to say what’s up.
B) At two in the morning to see if you wanted to sneak out.
C) Two days, fourteen hours, seven minutes and forty-eight seconds ago.

7. If he ran away to join the circus, he’d be…
A) A clown.
B) An aerialist.
C) The ringmaster.

Read on for his SWOON score:

Hangworthy (mostly A answers)
Having felt the noose around my neck, I do rather chafe at the term “hangworthy,” but I understand the context here. To me, it’s evident that you and this boy are bound to be the best of friends. You make each other laugh, have similar tastes, get along splendidly and feel comfortable around each other. Alas, the chemistry required for the true swoon state fails to exist between you.
Yeah, but a swoon state can sneak up on you. One day, you’re best friends with a guy and the next you suddenly see him in a new (i.e., romantic) way. The fact that you already know how cool and funny and smart and sweet he is (and he’s up to speed on the awesomeness of you), you’ll be in a great place when and if the swoon begins.

Lustworthy (mostly B answers)
Is it hot in here, or is it just the sparks flying between you two. He’s gorgeous, reckless, careening between darkly brooding and wildly audacious. No wonder your nerve endings are on red alert. Check yourself, though—unless you can you keep physical attraction separate from emotional attachment (and that is hard) you may wind up hurt.
Simply because a boy has a bit of a wild streak or dark side doesn’t mean he’s a callous cad. His piercing stare may be a symptom of shyness, his outrageous actions a display to impress you. The magnetic force between you is strong, so rather than fight it, get to know what he’s truly about. Do take it slow, though; when heat moves fast it tends to burn out and yes, sadly, leave a scar.

Swoonworthy (mostly C answers)
Yay, you! Seems like you’ve found a guy that has qualities you respect—someone smart, kind, honest, warm, all-around amazing. You’re falling for him big-time, and wonder if he feels the same. There’s no need to push it; just let things develop naturally and enjoy every moment. Swoon on!
Agreed, the ecstasy of the swoon state is heightened when it builds over time. To keep impetuosity in check, remember that you have a life (your family, your friends, your art, your interests) beyond this boy—in fact, that’s one reason he finds you so beguiling about you—so keep all that going as your romance grows. Swoon on, indeed!

Romance ruminations? Go to Love Advice with Sin & Dice on the SWOON page of for he said-she said counsel you can trust!