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BLARGH: 10 Ways to SWOON

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

10 Ways to SWOON

SUMMER IS SWOON SEASON—the perfect time to lose it, utterly and completely, to bliss. Ahead, 10 ideas for achieving the SWOON state that have always worked for me.

1) Go skinny-dipping. Not feasible? Do something else naked you’d normally do clothed. Baring all helps you revel in the glory of your own body. Clean your room naked. IM someone naked. Sleep naked. Read naked. Whatever you do, avoid the mirror—this isn’t about judging or even admiring yourself; it’s about being yourself.
2) Roll down a grassy hill. You needn’t be a giant panda, but if you want to watch one for inspiration: WHEEEEEE!!!
3) Lie very, very still. Okay, you’re at the bottom of the hill now. No gadget. No other people. No nothing. Let your senses take over. See the natural world. Hear birds, bees, crickets, what-have-you. Smell the proverbial roses and everything else. Feel the tickly grass. Taste it.
4) Talk to your crush. Just do it, damn it! The first few syllables may feel like puking up very sharp pebbles. After that, you’ll fall into this flow akin to an out-of-body experience. And you’ll have done it! Yes!
5) Perform. Getting up in front of folks to strut your stuff is weirdly freeing. Read a poem, rock out, juggle, tell a joke. Then take a bow.
6) Dance your ass off. In the club, at a party or alone in your room. Let the rhythm own you; let the beat into your blood. Continue for 10 minutes minimum, until you’re sweaty and giggly and high on your own endorphins.
7) Scream your head off. If you need a setting, go whitewater rafting or ride your roller coaster of choice (mine is Coney Island’s inimitable Cyclone).
8) Frolic with another species. Swimming with dolphins may not make your vacation plans, but if there’s a cat, dog, goat, duck, et cetera at your disposal, cavort with the creature—it’s as close as you can get to being in a cartoon.
9) Kiss and kiss and kiss... This one has clarifiers: First, you must feel completely ready to kiss. Second, there must be somebody you truly want to kiss. If these prerequisites have been met, do kiss—and only kiss. Even if you’ve been with your kissable one forever, revert to the just-kissing stage and rediscover the swoon therein.
10) Read SWOON! A novel of possession and obsession and betrayal and revenge and desire and sacrifice and pure, complete, impossible love, SWOON had me in thrall while writing and I'm told it creates similar reactions among readers.

That's my list. Got your own? Lemme know. In fact, it's a contest — and you can enter, thanks to the lovely & literary Meg, who's hosting the event on her blog. Go here now:


Blogger The Lovely Reader said...

I don't suppose by any chance you suggest combining a few? Such as rolling down a hill naked while screaming and then lying very still while talking to your crush? Or dancing your ass off with your dog on stage while reading SWOON? :)

June 10, 2010 at 7:21 PM  

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